Forget the big fat quiz of the year. 2023 is drawing to a close so for the Kinky London Escorts website, I compiled this naughty game. Can you solve it?
Let me start with a little boast. The ladies of Kinky London Escorts are a supremely talented bunch. And I will say so myself. Not only are we gorgeous to look at, we’re also sparkling conversationalists. Not only are we each, in our unique ways, socially delightful, we’re enablers of erotic joy on an international scale, from London to Los Angeles.
On top of this, we are skilled, in a manner that conjures the debutantes of yore. I am sure that many of you reading have learned something new from one of us. We take photos, we dance, we appreciate fine art and fine wine. There are several PhDs among us (and just as many of us who will one day finish their PhDs…). I’ve not researched this claim, but I reckon at least one of the gang can juggle fire. We’ve got a lot to be proud of.
But when it comes to writing prowess, are we as good as famous authors?
I thought it was time to put this essential question to the test, so I’ve picked out eight quotations and made it into a sexy quiz. Everyones’ favourite activity.
Some of these quotations are from KLE ladies of the night. And some are from people who made their living (slightly) more respectably, as novelists.
To level the playing field a little so that the famous authors stand a chance, I’ve kept it to writers who you’re likely to have heard of, if you have an interest in literature.
Can you guess which is which?
Time to play: Kinky London Escort vs. World Famous Author!
If you get more than 50% of these right, I’ll be eternally impressed! If you can name some of the authors to boot, it’s possible we’re soulmates.
Naturally there should be no cheating, but answers are at the bottom.
“Only god, or possibly physics, can explain the erotic perfection of two wobbling cheeks that spread to reveal the body’s most private, most naughty places.”
“An approximate erection: a solicitous adversion: a gradual elevation: a tentative revelation: a silent contemplation."
“Women kill me. They really do. I don’t mean I’m oversexed or anything like that–although I am quite sexy.”
“In between the main course and desert, she had to step outside to take a personal call, and I was left with time to myself to sit and take in my surroundings. I let my mind wander idly, and as it drifted, I overheard the conversation taking place a few feet behind me. Two people, a couple I assumed, having a heated argument about one party’s infidelity.”
INTERLUDE: Are you struggling to guess? If so, here’s a clue. One of the above masterly quotations is by… me. And one is by that guy James Joyce.
“I tend to dive deep. And when approaching an abyss I don’t stop and stare but jump in headfirst.”
“Really, she sometimes thought, she liked the boobies best.”
“They prized freedom over everything; the ability to soar with relative ease over great distances. There’s a power in being both a part of a landscape and also above it, both literally and figuratively. They loved the ease of it, the weightlessness. You become something else when you ride, when you fly."
“There was a reviving pleasure in this intercourse, of a kind now tasted by me for the first time–the pleasure arising from perfect congeniality of tastes, sentiments, and principles.”
Answers:
James Joyce, Ulysses
J.D Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
Virginia Woolf
Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre